Support For The Journey

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"In my troubles, you cleared a way." Psalm 4:2

Welcome to ...
Support For The Journey.  The mission of this site is to support survivors of clergy sexual abuse bringing concerns to their churches.  That support includes information and resources that will help to guide survivors through what can be the painful journey of church process.  Although this guide was written to address the United Church of Christ (UCC) fitness review process, it is hoped that what is presented can benefit survivors of abuse in other churches as well.

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THIS SITE IS DEDICATED TO ALL THOSE WHO SUPPORT THE JOURNEY .

 
Betrayal of trust, in the form of sexual abuse by a clergy person, leaves very serious wounds.  I know because I have experienced those wounds myself.  While I am deeply sorry for the pain you are experiencing, it is my wish for you to find much hope and direction for your journey as you read on. 
 
Coming to grips with abuse always involves a grieving process.  Perhaps you are familiar with psychologist Elisabeth Kubler Ross' (1969) work in this area, work that has been applied to many life-changing experiences.  She observed that individuals move through stages of grief from denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and finally, to acceptance or the ability to incorporate the experience into one's world view and move on.  It may be a long road to that final stage of acceptance. The grief will likely be triggered by reminders from time to time for the rest of your life, as it is with all major losses.
 
Perhaps, as I did, you will find anger to be the most troublesome emotion.  Then I came to understand not only the acceptability, but the value of anger when one has been betrayed in this way.  As stated on the Unitarian Universalist Website, "You have every right to be angry and the energy of anger can be used to good ends.  Your responsibility is not for the abuse, but to use this anger constructively - to heal yourself." (www.uua.org/cde/csm/survivor.html)  This guide is one attempt to use anger constructively and so to heal.
 
My desire is to help you through the Fitness Review Process of the United Church of Christ.  My hope is that you will avoid some of the "pitfalls" that I experienced and that you will access the support you deserve during this very difficult time.  I am not an expert, by any means, and write primarily from my experience.  However, I was fortunate to be given many resources along the way.  I hope that these resources are helpful to you as well.  Yes, there is hope to be found in the support that is available to you and in the support that you may, in time, give to others.  I know that God will bless you on your journey of healing. 
 
With special gratitude to Dee Miller (www.takecourage.org ) for her encouragement and contributions to this site.

Understanding Clergy Sexual Abuse