Understanding Clergy Sexual Abuse/ Abuse of Power
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Understanding Clergy Sexual Abuse
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Clergy Sexual Abuse is Abuse of Power
As with any professional relationship, be it physician and patient, psychologist and client, teacher and student, coach and athlete, there is an inherent imbalance of power in the clergy/congregant relationship.  To take advantage of this imbalance of power to exploit another is a true violation of you.  As indicated by the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA):
 
Clergy sexual misconduct is a violation of professional ethics, a violation of 
 
personal boundaries, and a violation of trust.  It is an injustice at the very seat
 
of personal integrity - both for the perpetrator and the victim/survivors.  In
 
Is Nothing Sacred? Marie Fortune describes the emotional cost of such 
 
violations for the victims, including feelings of shame, guilt, stupidity, betrayal,
 
and exploitation (p. 109).  The victims (may) become depressed and lose
 
faith in themselves...and their faith.  Clergy sexual misconduct is a grave 
 
injustice toward another person. (www.uua.org/cde/csm/spiritual.html)
 
 

It is Not Your Fault
No matter what the circumstances of the abuse, clearly, it was not your fault.  You, as the victim/survivor, as the vulnerable person, are not and never were responsible for the behavior of the person who harmed you.  Consider what Reverend Patricia Liberty, Executive Director of Associates in Education and Prevention in Pastoral Practice (www.AEPPP.org) has to say as she addresses Why It's Not an Affair:
 
Oftentimes sexual contact between clergy and congregants is dismissed as an
 
"affair" between "consenting adults".  This is a misnomer for several reasons.
 
First, the relationship between a clergy person and his/her congregant is
 
professional in nature.  That means that clergy have a responsibility to use the 
 
special knowledge, skills, and gifts of their call for the benefit of those they
 
serve namely their congregants.  It also means that clergy have a responsibility
 
to establish healthy professional relationships.  Because clergy carry moral 
 
and spiritual authority, as well as professional power it is ALWAYS their    
 
responsibility to maintain an appropriate professional boundary.  In practical
 
terms this translates into clergy not pursuing or initiating sexual relationships
 
with congregants (regardless of marital status of either party) and not
 
responding to the sexual advances of congregants who may be interested in a
 
relationship with their pastor.  It also means that clergy will not engage in
 
sexualized behavior with congregants.  Sexualized behavior includes jokes,
 
inappropriate touching, pornography, flirting, inappropriate gift giving, etc.
 
Since the ministerial relationship is professional in nature, it is inappropriate to
 
call a sexual encounter an affair.  Affair is a term used to describe a sexual
 
liaison between peers, or equals.  In addition the term affair focuses attention
 
on the sexual nature of the behavior rather than the professional violation.  It
 
also places equal responsibility for the behavior on the congregant.  Since
 
clergy have a responsibility to set and maintain appropriate boundaries, those
 
who are violated by clergy's inappropriate sexual behavior are not to be
 
blamed even if they initiated the contact. ( www.aeppp.org/affair.htm )

Supporting Your Understanding of Clergy Sexual Abuse
It is comforting to find others who understand the dynamics of clergy sexual abuse. Yet few will.  It is essential that you do, however, for your well being and in order to speak effectively for yourself.  That is why finding resource materials and supportive people are, for most survivors, the activities that will lead to growth and acceptance.  As indicated by the UUA: 
 
It is extremely helpful to understand the dynamics of abuse.  At first, for 
 
example, people who have been victimized, like others, often don't realize 
 
that the central issue is power - not sex.  To read about the experiences of
 
others, to see the patterns and relate them to your own experience speeds
 
understanding and thus healing.  There are more and more workshops, 
 
retreats, books and articles, on both sexual abuse and clergy misconduct.
 
Although the focus has recently been on the abuse of children by clergy, the abuse of women and adult men is recognized and addressed through a number of resources.  Check out the Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute website for
useful links at www.csbsju.edu/isti/links.html.  Websites that I have found to be
 
As for the United Church of Christ (UCC) and the support that is available through the church, one resource to be aware of is a fund through the National Office that can be accessed to pay for professional counseling.  Inquire through your local conference as to how to access these funds.  If you seek assistance from a pastoral counselor, that individual will sometimes provide services at a reduced rate.  To find a pastoral counselor in your area, see the Online Membership Directory of The American Association of Pastoral Counselors at www.aapc.org/directory.htm or request a referral from your UCC conference.     
   

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